I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
