new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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