let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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