just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
