He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
