Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
