Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
