dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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