The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
