Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
