Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it's like iHOP with fire
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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