i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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