just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
