This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
