butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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