There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
