Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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