another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
