He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
