i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
