can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What a dumb baby whore.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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