My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
