You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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