You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
