why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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