xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
