seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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