I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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