ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
