You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
