Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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