I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
