That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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