Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
