Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
