Me. At least after what I've been through.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
