that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
