he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
