Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
