come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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