OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
