How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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