If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
