don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I need water and some morals
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
