FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
