I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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