i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
