4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
