i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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