nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
