Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
