I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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